January 25th, 2012

Does My Bomb Look Big In This?

This Week's Column - Slurps of Seduction

Published in the Inner West Independent and City News.

On a balmy evening in December, I found the time to pop into Bistro Bruno, one of Balmain’s more recent restaurant additions. From a chair on the wide balcony, I talked food with owner Erez Gordon, as we sipped Negroni cocktails, ate aperitivi and watched the daylight dwindle.

It's a killer location; so I've been looking for a reason to revisit. It's called Lobsta-Palooza! Hurry in during the last breath of January between 6pm-7pm and receive a classic 'Fruits de Mer' platter for $55/head. Erez promises it will arrive bearing “oysters, king prawns, tiger prawns, harbour shrimp, black lip mussels, razor clams, scallops in the half shell, scampi, blue swimmer crab and lobster” casually reclining on a bed of ice. Of course you’ll also sip great wine, and feed each other morsels seductively dipped into intriguing condiments.

If that’s not got you leaping for the nearest phone, fire up your libido even further on Valentine’s Day. Before I could get the words ‘commercial exploitation’ out of my mouth, Erez told me about a dessert of Callebaut chocolate fondue with berry brochettes and house made marshmallows matched to an adults only vanilla malt thickshake served with two straws. Yeah all right, it’s sex-on-a-stick as far as I’m concerned - what’s not to love about soft, pillowy marshmallows, rich, chocolate sauce and a two-straw tango? It’s part of a four-course affair with matching wines for $110/head (pay in January, get 10% off). Word on the street is: if you’d prefer to partake with more than one paramour, here they don't bat an eyelid.

Since we’re already slurping, I’m going to segue into one of the first frosty beverages that won my heart. It was 1978; I was four; and the iconic icy beverage was 7-Eleven’s Slurpee. What’s got me excited about it again during Sydney’s most dubious attempt at summer on record, is them depicting it in graffiti on a t-shirt designed by Sydney-based artist Deb. I went gaga over her work recently on Cockatoo Island, and adorning Melbourne’s famous Hosier Lane. Snaffle her Graffiti Tee for $15, or suck down fifteen Supersized Slurpees (okay, possibly excessive) to earn it for free.

For a more gentile slurp, you’ve also got until February to get over to the Coco Republic designed Clicquot Summer Lounge at Hawthorn Mosman. I think it’s the perfect antidote to taking the kids to Taronga Park Zoo! Chef Scott Parson’s spent some time tasting the Champagnes of Veuve Clicquot and matched them to morsels like house cured ocean trout on blinis with crème fraiche and fish roe. Please have a flute of the NV Rose ($25) for me.