Awake. Try to connect to internet. Fail. Power-cycle equipment six times.
Ring Ozemail. Fail. They will call back in 26 minutes. Rock.
Speak to Ozemail for an hour. Complain about man who could not help last night (another hour) who told me to do helpful things like turn the cord between my router and computer around. Now turn it around again.
Man from Ozemail says the late night calls are outsourced to South Africa, and well... they don't have much experience with computers. Head desk. Raise head. Start to speak. Head desk again. Say to man in tone that is just holding it together, perhaps outsourcing your calls to people with NO FUCKING COMPUTER EXPERIENCE is not quite the level of customer service you should be providing.
Eventually get a connection. Then another twenty minutes, get a wireless connection. Incidentally, up to a month ago Ozemail would not help if you connected wirelessly.
So anyway, FIFTEEN MINUTES of access, then, fail. Again.
Call Ozemail. Fail. Eleven minutes of rocking until they call back. I suppose I should be grateful for smaller delays. Another thirty minutes of rotating computer to face Mecca, he decides it's the firmware on the Belkin, which we duly update. Oops can't, fail, lost internet connection again. Troubleshoot that again. Get updated software for modem, get wirelessly connected again. Hang up phone. Drops out.
Smashing head repeatedly into a wall seems to help.
Things achieved today thus far = 0
Damage to body = lots
Hatred of Ozemail = at an all-time high
Hatred of all other human beings = rising rapidly
And they wonder why people become terrorists.